When Will My Life Take a Turning Point...?

Sorry about all these emo posts... Well, all my posts have been emo. If anyone is actually reading this. I remember when I used to blog on Xanga. All my posts there were all emo too. It was just me talking about my everyday life. Same thing happens everyday.

I've been trying really hard to do something about it, but I'm never given the chance to suceed... This semester, I know I need a job because I'm graduating. I attend all the events that accounting firms hold. I network as much as I can. I've met a lot of new people and learned a lot of new things. I even popped out of another barrier that I've created on myself by doing the xAct case study competition. Job itself has contributed the most stress I've had this semester... How far do I have to reach to get what I want... Or need... I've done all that I could ever do. My mom's friend told me that in China, they have a saying, "If it's yours, it's yours." She told me not to worry because the economy is still bad. On the other side, some people look down on me because I still have some crappy job even after attending college.

Does my past have to affect my present? Just because my G.P.A. cannot compete with 95% of the students in the school of management, I can't provide quality in work as good as the others do...? I don't believe that I cannot get a job because the economy is bad. I don't get a job because the employers don't see success in me judging by my resume. I'm not a good enough candidate for them because my grades are bad and I don't have leadership roles in school clubs.

Besides jobs, there's school. Although I'm overwhelmed by school work, it's not affecting me as much as this job crap has been because I know I have more important things to worry about. I'm sorry, Victoria. I haven't had much time to call you or write to you.

What should I do if I complete college without a job...? I was watching YouTube for a little bit and I notice all these Asians on the top subscribed users list and I wondered... Why can't I do something to make a difference? My roommate told me there are three kinds of people. Those that wants to do something and do it. Those that wants to do something but hesitant at taking initiative. And those that wants to do something but don't take any step further. I'm the one that is hesitant at taking initiative. Sophomore year, I wanted to start an Asians Arts & Craft club. Junior year, I brought it up again. Summer, I brought it up again. Never happened.

When will that day come when my life takes a turning point? I'm tired of feeling down every two days...

Happiest day of my life.