走到人生的极端

Dude, I don't even like to write. I don't know why I have a blog, but I have a blog. :)

I think I've reach the climax of life and now it's just slowly sliding down. I got a stable job, I got my beautiful love ( my computer), and I'm living the life that I've been wanting since I was a kid. I just go to work, come home and not have to worry about doing homework and just play games until I need to sleep. Every kid wants this dream. But I guess I'm not a kid anymore...

I'm starting to lose interest in playing games and it's very clear to me... It seems like I'm doing the same thing over and over again everyday. On League of Legends, I'm just playing the same thing every 40 minutes. On TERA, I'm doing quests after quests and it got boring when all my friend are higher or lower level than me.

Ever so often, I'd reflect on my life. Is this what I really want? Go to work and come home to games everyday? A few years ago, that'd be a yes. Now, it's just... meh.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in denial. I act like I'm having the Bay Life where I don't give a shit about anything and chill all day long. I do whatever the hell I want to do and nothing around me is so important that I need to stop everything else to go deal with that problem. I just live everyday without plans and go on day after day not caring about anything. That's the life I love to be in. No girl in my life to tell me when I need to sleep or when I need to wake up. I don't have to give a damn about another person being upset and I need to comfort them. I don't need to worry about another person on top of worrying about myself. I can play games and no one would tell me it's bad. I don't have to go out every so often to have dinner and pay like $30/50/90 for a meal. I don't have to worry about birthdays, Valentine's Day, Anniversaries, Christmas, etc.

All that is great, but sometimes... I kind of feel like this kind of life is going no where. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm going in a loop as if I'm stuck in one place with no progress. Sometimes... I want to settle down and start a family. God, I feel old. As a matter of fact, I started preferring to drink warm water instead of cold water. I want to try new things like going to church and becoming a Christian. What kind of kid wants to go to church?! Yeah... I see these husband and wife walking down the street holding their kid's hands and swinging him around smiling and filled with joy, I want to do that too. I want to have my own house; my own family. Give meaning to life rather than numbing my brain to games.

Ehh... Who am I kidding? Girls are annoying and all they want is their guys to stop playing games and love them more! Rubbish. I'm gonna go find a new game to play! Bay Life, niggahz! :D