Expectations. Motivation. Goals. Life.

... Is it wrong to be satisfied with what I have now? As a human being, am I always required to strive for more?

It's not like I don't want to strive for more... I am honestly fine with what I have now. I currently have no motivation or anything that would drive me for more. Maybe in a few years, but not now.

My aunt and uncle finally found a buyer for the house. Now my mom and them are pushing me to get a house. My aunt just mentioned it at the table and she asked why didn't I go for my CPA. Am I looking for a better paying job? Why am I so lazy?

... I love my job. I am satisfied with what I have right now. I don't want more right now. I don't want a house. I don't want a nice car. I don't need a lot of money. I just want to enjoy my life right now. I want to slack off if I want to slack off. I want to go clubbing if I want to go clubbing. If I want to go to church, I'll go to church. I want to learn an instrument if I want to learn an instrument. Nothing I want requires huge amount of money.

I wish I can just live my own life without other people spitting in my face telling me that I'm stupid for not wanting more. Well, fuck you. Stop telling me what to do with my life. I won't regret a single thing that I'm doing right now. Fuck off.

I've been really down lately... Not only because of all these talk, but the things happening around me. I've been making a lot of mistakes when I'm working and my manager gives me the look of disapproval. I try not to think about it too much, but I keep worrying about being fired. I already accepted the fact that I'm not smart or have that kind of mind to think outside of the box, but I try hard. I honestly try really hard to do everything that I can. I can only go so far.

I just wish... All these problems would disappear from my life. This is when I just sleep it off. I think I'm going to sleep.