Creating Happy Memories

Susanna's house is going to be sold soon (well, they signed a contract to put it on hold for someone, but it's basically sold), so we wanted to do something before we have to leave the house for good. Susanna set up a house party and invited a lot of our friends. It was great. There were a lot of people that we haven't seen since Susanna's graduation.

We did BBQ, jumped into the pool, played 3 games of Mafia and had the craziest laughter filling up the house, and ended the night with a nice game of Charades.

I wish life can be as joyful and happy as it was today. ^_^ It's great to have wonderful friends and be with those that matters the most to us. Those that showed up are truly the greatest friends that we can ever ask for. As for those that didn't show up, I guess they have something more important to attend. :P But they're still good people, hahahaha...

What a great day. I'll be heading off to sleep now and attend church tomorrow thanking God for this wonderful life. ^_^ Hehe...

Expectations. Motivation. Goals. Life.

... Is it wrong to be satisfied with what I have now? As a human being, am I always required to strive for more?

It's not like I don't want to strive for more... I am honestly fine with what I have now. I currently have no motivation or anything that would drive me for more. Maybe in a few years, but not now.

My aunt and uncle finally found a buyer for the house. Now my mom and them are pushing me to get a house. My aunt just mentioned it at the table and she asked why didn't I go for my CPA. Am I looking for a better paying job? Why am I so lazy?

... I love my job. I am satisfied with what I have right now. I don't want more right now. I don't want a house. I don't want a nice car. I don't need a lot of money. I just want to enjoy my life right now. I want to slack off if I want to slack off. I want to go clubbing if I want to go clubbing. If I want to go to church, I'll go to church. I want to learn an instrument if I want to learn an instrument. Nothing I want requires huge amount of money.

I wish I can just live my own life without other people spitting in my face telling me that I'm stupid for not wanting more. Well, fuck you. Stop telling me what to do with my life. I won't regret a single thing that I'm doing right now. Fuck off.

I've been really down lately... Not only because of all these talk, but the things happening around me. I've been making a lot of mistakes when I'm working and my manager gives me the look of disapproval. I try not to think about it too much, but I keep worrying about being fired. I already accepted the fact that I'm not smart or have that kind of mind to think outside of the box, but I try hard. I honestly try really hard to do everything that I can. I can only go so far.

I just wish... All these problems would disappear from my life. This is when I just sleep it off. I think I'm going to sleep.

Ups and Downs

Life has ups and downs and let me tell you this... It's fucking down tonight.

Why can't the fucking pain go away?

God, where are you?

I'm Sorry

Confession. Recently, I accused a friend of lying because I jumped to conclusion without trying to understand the real story behind it. She got upset and just cut me off. Then I realized... I've been a jerk these past few years, huh...

I didn't really noticed that I was treating my close friends so bad in the past that I just cloud my head with thoughts that I'm always the right one and they're always wrong. I tell myself that I am a good person and I would never hurt anyone's feelings.

I think I lost a few of my close friends because of my attitude and judgmental habits. I finally realized that I'm not as good of a person as I thought I'd be. You know, I'm always trying my best to take it so as long as they are happy, I'm happy too. I always try to put others ahead of me and satisfy them because I don't want any conflicts between us. But in reality, I think I'm hurting more people than I'm trying to be good.

I felt so bad last night for accusing my friend of lying. I prayed before I went to sleep and I think God has shown me the answer. Today after work while I was at the gym, I was just thinking of all the horrible stuff that I have said to my friends; close or not close. After I ate dinner, I sent a few of my friends messages apologizing for what I have said to the past to them. Whether they took it offensively or didn't care what I've said, I knew it was something I should not have said.

I was to slowly improve myself as a person and as a friend to be more careful with what I say, what I assume, and what I do. I want to get rid of my old habits and be a person that I want to be.

To all those that I have treated poorly in the past, I am sorry for the things that I've done. I hope you find it in the hearts to forgive me. :)

Happy Father's Day

I started my day by spending time with Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus. (: I went to church and we talked about the greatness of our fathers. It got my thinking again.

I would like to thank my father for bringing me to this world. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here today. I would like to thank him for giving me such a wonderful mom; caring and sweet. Although he wasn't there most of my life, I still really love him and misses him. If he was still here, I would give it all to spend the day with him and make him the happiest person alive. When I browsed through Facebook, it bothered me. I just wish people really told their daddy Happy Father's Day instead of just posting on Facebook to let everyone else see. Facebook is not your dad. Go to him and tell him Happy Father's Day. Make him breakfast. Treat him to lunch/dinner. Spend the day with him. If they're busy working, give him a call.

I prayed for my father and told him how much I love him and how grateful I am to be here in this world. I hope he's happy where ever he is.

I was kicked out of the house again because auntie was having open house again, so I went to Ikea and met up with Eva. Her dad had work today, so they're doing a dinner for her dad tomorrow. I ended up going to her house to visit her new dog, Taro. :3 Sooo cute~ I really want a puppy too! Too bad... I have to wait until I move. But that's okay! I'm getting closer to that point after each paycheck!

I wish every father in this world a Happy Father's Day! (: